Nikki Glaser: 10 Cut Golden Globes Jokes

KALALI

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Post on Jan 12, 2025

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Nikki Glaser: 10 Cut Golden Globes Jokes That Would Have Rocked the Show

Nikki Glaser, the queen of brutally honest and hilariously inappropriate comedy, is known for her sharp wit and fearless approach to taboo topics. So, it's no surprise that when she was tapped to write jokes for the Golden Globes, she delivered a batch of zingers that were, unfortunately, deemed too hot for the telecast. But don't worry, we've got the inside scoop on 10 of the cut Golden Globes jokes that would have undoubtedly rocked the show and left viewers howling. Get ready to laugh, cringe, and maybe even question the decision to axe these comedic gems.

Why Were These Jokes Cut? A Look Behind the Scenes

Before we dive into the jokes themselves, it's important to understand the context. The Golden Globes, while known for its celebratory atmosphere, also operates under a delicate balance of humor and propriety. Network censors, fearful of offending sponsors, celebrities, or the viewing audience, often wield a heavy hand, cutting jokes that push boundaries. Glaser's style, unapologetically edgy and often targeting the very people in attendance, likely fell victim to this cautious approach.

However, this censorship also fuels the intrigue. What kind of jokes are deemed "too much" for the Golden Globes? The answer, as you'll see, reveals a fascinating glimpse into the sometimes-absurd world of Hollywood censorship and the inherent risk-reward associated with truly groundbreaking comedy.

Nikki Glaser's 10 Cut Golden Globes Jokes: A Comedy Extravaganza

Now, without further ado, let's unveil the 10 cut Golden Globes jokes that would have made the ceremony unforgettable:

1. The "Me Too" Movement Update: "The #MeToo movement has really changed Hollywood. Now, when a powerful producer asks you to come to his hotel room, you have to bring your own snacks!"

This joke cleverly uses the current events surrounding the #MeToo movement to create a darkly humorous observation about power dynamics in the industry. Its cutting wit likely made it too risky for broadcast.

2. The Diversity Dilemma: "Hollywood is finally embracing diversity. I saw a movie where the villain wasn't just rich and white, he was also slightly less attractive."

This joke tackles the often-discussed lack of diversity in Hollywood, but does so with Glaser's signature sarcastic bite. The subtle jab at the industry's superficiality might have been deemed too cynical for a celebratory event.

3. The Netflix Obsession: "Netflix has so many shows, I'm starting to think they're just making stuff up to fill the void in my life."

This relatable joke highlights the oversaturation of content on streaming services, cleverly framing it as a commentary on our modern obsession with binge-watching. While seemingly harmless, it might have been considered too self-deprecating or lacking the "glamour" expected of a Golden Globes monologue.

4. The Age of the Influencer: "Influencers are now the new celebrities. They're just famous for being famous for taking pictures of themselves being famous."

This joke targets the rise of social media influencers, poking fun at the often-superficial nature of their fame. Its biting observation on the emptiness of internet fame probably didn't fit the Golden Globes' preferred narrative.

5. Award Show Predictability: "Predicting the Golden Globes is easier than predicting the weather in Los Angeles. It's always going to be sunny and someone from Netflix is going to win."

This joke uses clever wordplay to comment on the seemingly predictable nature of award shows, pointing out the dominance of specific studios. The direct, slightly cynical nature of this joke might have seemed too critical for the celebration.

6. The "Thank You" Speeches: "My favorite part of the Golden Globes is when the winners thank their agents, managers, and publicists. It's like watching a corporate ladder climb in real-time."

This joke plays on the often-formulaic nature of acceptance speeches, highlighting the behind-the-scenes machinations of the entertainment industry. Its slightly cynical undertone likely didn't align with the desired tone of the event.

7. The After-Party Scene: "The after-parties are always a blast. You get to see all the celebrities who didn't win act like they did."

This joke skewers the often-pretentious atmosphere of award show after-parties, mocking the behavior of those who didn't win awards. Its sarcastic tone and potentially offensive implications likely led to its removal.

8. The Vegan Dilemma: "I tried to go vegan for a week. But then I realized my life was already pretty bland."

This joke uses self-deprecating humor to comment on the challenges of dietary restrictions. While seemingly harmless, it might have been considered too niche or not grand enough for the scope of the Golden Globes.

9. The Hollywood Diet: "The Hollywood diet is simple: starve until you win, then binge eat everything in sight."

This joke plays on the pressure celebrities face to maintain a certain image, using dark humor to highlight the extremes some go to. Its potentially controversial message and harsh commentary may have been deemed inappropriate for the broadcast.

10. The Botox Backlash: "I'm starting to think Botox is just a conspiracy by Hollywood to make sure everyone looks the same."

This joke plays on the prevalence of cosmetic procedures in Hollywood, using dark humor to question the homogeneity of appearances. Its critique of beauty standards in the entertainment industry may have been too critical for the event.

The Power of Censorship and the Future of Comedy

The fact that these jokes were cut highlights the complex relationship between comedy, censorship, and the expectations surrounding televised events like the Golden Globes. While some might argue that these jokes were too edgy or controversial, others might see their absence as a missed opportunity for truly refreshing and memorable humor. Ultimately, Nikki Glaser's cut jokes serve as a reminder of the power of satire and the ongoing debate about the boundaries of acceptable humor in the public sphere. The jokes, though not seen on screen, live on as testament to her comedic genius. Her bravery in pushing boundaries, even if met with censorship, ensures her place as a fearless voice in comedy. And who knows? Maybe one day, these jokes will see the light of day in a less censored setting.